So I'm noticing that when you're an adult you can find a picture of yourself from several years ago and it very well may look a lot like the present day you. I think that's cool.
Also tonight I downloaded three versions of Country Roads and have been listening to them while trying to write. As of now the entirety of my writings since graduating equal three pages of me complaining that I'm not being a productive writer. This is a problem for me.
The other day I was thinking about being a writer (or some other kind of artist type) and I realized to be a writer someone has to have a whole hell of a lot of faith in themselves. Most college majors these days lead into a system... this at least is my understanding. English, unlike say accounting or physics, is a major that prepares one to go to grad school and creative writing is a major that prepares one for a very uneasy two weeks post graduation. It just seems interesting to me that there's no clear system one can embrace if they want to be a writer, which is to say there's no real path to becoming a great writer save for becoming really good at writing. I find something about betting on my own ability to produce rather than putting my faith in a system somewhat empowering. On the other hand, there's something terrifying about not having a road map to the future.
I read once that people can not envision time. This makes sense to me because it matches my personal experience (which is the same logic I used as a six year old to reject the church). But I find it unsettling that the only certainty in my future is the graduation party my parents are throwing me at the end of the month. When I was in school I used the end of a semester as a gauge for the passage of time. Over the summer it was the beginning of the school year that signaled time just kept on moving. Whether I would dread the coming date or rush toward it anxious to push forward I always seemed to have a big abstract coming towards me. I'm not feeling that right now and I don't know how to feel about that. I suppose the idea of summer vacation is still in my mind, but it's wearing away faster than I expected it to.
These are things that I notice.
