- a program (or font) that capitalizes only the proper words in titles
- pornography starring women who are attractive and brilliant and have a great sense of humor and think I'm interesting
- a twenty-four hour medium-rare steak delivery service... reasonably priced
- blankets that get softer with each wash
- inexpensive water-purification machines (for the indigenous peoples)
- a sleep-ray gun
- salad that's actually made of steak but is good for you... like regular salad
- a better way to make bacon than microwaving it between layers of paper towel
- disposable fingertip guards to help when removing hot things from the toaster
- a buzzer that goes off whenever someone on talk-radio or cable news says something untrue, or ignorant, or racist, followed by a physical challenge to avoid some bizarre, humiliating punishment
- adult forts (that's right... adult)
- a button to turn off that beeping when someone says something salty on basic cable
- suicide pills that are actually placebos (I think that could be interesting)
- zombie movies that address just how terrible a zombie apocalypse must smell
- flowers that grow at a more satisfying rate for inexperienced gardeners
